Thursday, August 11, 2011

Romanticizing "Partner"

This is a departure from what I've been posting about (as if anyone actually reads this) but it was something I've been thinking about and figured I'd write up a post. These thoughts were spurred by a blog post a former professor of mine wrote in which he discussed the trouble with the term "husband" and how it relates to gay marriage. His argument is that the term is intertwined with a history of patriarchy since the term denotes dominance (he uses the example of husbandry to illustrate this point) and discusses the unique position of gay couples who are now, finally, getting the legal permission to be married.

The post got me to thinking about the terms we use to describe our personal relationships and how the very terms themselves produce and reproduce a male dominant hegemony within our own households even without our knowing. Certainly, as my former professor mentions, the connotations of husband and wife provide certain people with a sense of pride and lend their relationship an ideal of permanence which other terms don't carry, but they also bring with them a history of male dominated oppression that I (would like to) imagine even many of the people that use these terms with the best intentions don't agree with.

And this is where I believe the straight community can learn from the gay community when it comes to relationships. For years gay couples who have dedicated themselves to the same level of commitment and love that marriage denotes for straight couples have used the term "partner" to refer to their loved one. I believe that the the straight community should do away with the terms husband and wife and instead should use only the term partner to refer to the person to whom they choose to be married, or enter into a life-long relationship with.

Partner is a term that denotes equality. Partners in a business or law firm have equal responsibility, equal freedom, and deserve equal credit for the successes of the firm. In a true partnership one partner is not in charge of the other and cannot command the other partner to do anything that she/he doesn't agree with. Two partners must sit down and agree together before making decisions that effect them both, or else the disenfranchised partner has the right to leave the partnership. This, I believe, is a more accurate description of the ideal romantic relationship than one in which the "husband" is able to command the other member of the marriage.

The problem is that "partner" doesn't sound nearly as romantic as husband or wife, it doesn't carry the same sense of intimacy as the two traditional terms. Partners in a business may be equals, but they don't care for one another when they are sick, or support each other emotionally in the way that a "husband" or a "wife" does.

Thankfully though, language is a fluid, living thing, and it can and does change according to times and society. With a concerted effort between couples of all sexual orientations to do away with the antiquated and patriarchal terms and bring a sense of romance to the term "partner" we can do away with the inherent inequalities of the current terms and perhaps bring the vocabulary of marriage up to date with the social changes brought about by the Women's Movement and the Gay Rights Movement. In a class I took on feminist theory we discussed ways in which every person could change their own vocabulary to become to work towards breaking down heteronormativity. One of these was instead of asking a boy or girl if they "have a boyfriend/girlfriend" to instead ask "are you seeing someone," a phrasing which doesn't assume the sexuality of the person of whom you are asking the question. I believe that in the same way doing away with "husband" or "wife" and replacing them with "partner" is a step towards breaking down heteronormativity and patriarchy that everyone can participate in without making drastic changes to their own lifestyle that, taken collectively, could go a long way towards creating a more equal society for everyone.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

America I Am Celebrates African American Culture

Went over to the history museum today in Forrest Park to check out the America I Am exhibit that is showing there until September fifth. It's a traveling exhibit on African American culture focusing on the imprints that African Americans have made on the United States since the beginning of European colonization of North America. It's a fairly large collection of artifacts, and personal stories which aims at the mighty task of exploring the ways in which African Americans have shaped the culture, politics, and economy of this country.

The exhibit is broken into two wings at the museum in STL. The first half focuses on the history from just before the arrival of Europeans to North America and continues on through the Civil War and the passing of the 13th, 14th, and 15th amendments. This first room is organized chronologically giving a strong sense of history's progression and when and how African Americans made significant and lasting contributions to United States history. The second room I felt lost it's effectiveness by having sections organized thematically instead of chronologically.

An example of this is the room on African American participation in the US military. Five cases with uniforms are in this room, the oldest being a Buffalo soldier uniform from immediately after the Civil War and the newest a NASA flight suit. While the artifacts and history in this room are no doubt interesting, they lose their connection to a particular historical moment which is what gave the collections in the first room much of their power.

Music also gets the short shrift in this exhibit and is merely presented through various outfits that have been worn by a number of African American performers. Again, while interesting, the exhibit spends little to no time describing the evolution of music from its African roots meeting with European influences and Caribbean influences to shape almost all forms of popular music today.

A few pieces that I feel are especially worth seeing are Frederick Douglass's shirt and coat, Malcolm X's handwritten spiral notebook from his Hajj, and the early African statues and carvings that open the exhibit. While those familiar with African American history won't necessarily learn anything new from this exhibition, it is a powerful celebration of African American culture and contributions which is a steal for the meager $8 admission price.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Another Kind of Exhibit

White Flag Projects is an independent art gallery located in the Grove neighborhood of STL which aims to "facilitate meaningful exhibitions by progressive international, national, and local artists." Today I went to their exhibition "Another Kind of Vapor" which takes it's name from a William Pope.L piece that is featured in the exhibit.

The exhibit closes today so no one will be able to take advantage of this posting (well, probably no one will read it either so there's that) but it is certainly worth stopping by the space to check out if you can before it closes today at 5. The space itself is quite small, but admission is free and there was some great art so that's nothing to complain about. I viewed the whole gallery before I saw the exhibition program at the front desk and had to review the entire exhibit.

That beautiful piece that shows the Hollywood sign in faded sepia against a cream background? It was printed with Pepto-Bismal and caviar.

That jar of dead flies? They were collected at a Dieter Roth exhibit from 1970 in which he filled twenty or so suitcases with two tons of cheese and let it go rancid, breeding flies and maggots that got the gallery in trouble with the health department and almost closed down.

The mission of this exhibition was to move towards organic painting and art making that decays and changes meaning and form over time. A large piece right at the front door was painted with peanut butter liquid detergent sits among the remnants of dried pieces of the work that have fallen off over the course of the exhibit.

After the show closes today the next exhibit will be of Amy Granat and will open on September 8th so it'll be a bit of time before we can enjoy another show at White Flag Projects

Friday, July 22, 2011

Punk Rock and PBR

The Silver Ballroom is a STL bar that has been getting rave reviews from people who enjoy, as their site mentions, Punk Rock, Pinball, and PBR. Basically, this place is awesome.

The Juke Box is stocked with as much punk as the heart could desire and fourteen pinball machines await your loose change in the Silver Ballroom itself. Don't worry, there's a change machine for those who don't have a roll of quarters on hand and they have cup holders so you can drink while you play. The machines date from 1960s up to an Iron Man 2 machine from last year. They cost only 50 cents to play and the PBR comes in 12 or 24 oz cans for $2 or $3 respectively, prices with which no one could argue. I went a little early in the evening, around 7, mostly so I could ensure I would be able to get on a few of the machines without having to wait.

Jurassic Park Pinball Machine. You read it right. Jurassic Park. The movie that started the nineties and sparked a series of sequels that sullied its once unsulliable name lives on at Silver Ballroom in pinball form. The little T-Rex that ate my ball and spit it out also ate my heart. The little guy's roars and jerky mechanic movements endeared him to me like a little golden retriever puppy.

The bar itself is labelled the "Retox Center" which I thought was delightful and the bartender was wearing a 2 Live Crew As Nasty As They Wanna Be t-shirt which was equally as delightful. They serve handmade meat pies which I didn't have the opportunity to try, and Billy Goat Chips which I hear about all of the time and am really looking forward to getting my hands on some day.

Overall it seems like a good spot to hang out with tattooed and mohawked St Louisians and play some cool pinball machines that light up and make noises. Next time I'm getting a meat pie and putting on some The Exploited tracks on the Juke Box before getting on the machines with a PBR.

Oh, They Make Beer Here

So, since my last post I've been trying to get out and enjoy STL and I'm starting to see why people so fiercely defended the city/hated on my article on Thought Catalog that went up today. In defense of the article I wrote that mostly for myself right after I got here before I had the chance to really meet anyone or see what kinds of places this city had to offer. Foxxrob over at lifeafterhavingalife did a much better job lampooning the piece than I did writing it.

Which brings me to the point of this post. They make beer here. It's pretty cool. I'd been enjoying some Schlafly beer at home and when our keg of Kolsch ran out I took the opportunity to go down to their Bottleworks to get a new beer for the house. My roommate and I had to wait an hour to get on the next tour of the brewery which they offer for free so we spent some time at the bar while we waited. And no, the bar was not empty. Schlafly is Missouri's third largest brewery, behind Boulevard and Anheuser Busch. The brewery itself is pretty small, but the beers are pretty good, and the food is really good.



Here's our guide during the tour. While the tour is fairly short, probably about fifteen minutes not including the tasting, it's still a neat little place. And you get a free tasting of four beers when you're done, which is awesome. We had the Pale Ale, their flagship beer, The Summer Lager, which is their seasonal right now, the American Pale Ale, and the Hefeweizen. The beer was all pretty good, the American Pale Ale was extremely hoppy which I know a lot of people like but I prefer the regular Pale Ale to it. We got our keg of Hefeweizen all ordered up and tried to avoid the heat for the rest of the day.

This weekend I'll be going to the Anheuser brewery to check out how a huge corporate tour compares to the little guy's. Hopefully it will cool down by then because I hear that there is a lot of walking between buildings on that one, and it is ungodly hot right now.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Things I did Today

Things I did today

-Clean six cans of Budweiser that have been sitting in a warm cooler of rancid spilled beer for over three weeks and put them in the fridge for later.

Things I didn't do today

-Laundry
-The dishes
-take a shower
-anything productive

#thedreamlives